You are a very kind person. You have a big heart. When your buddy is sad, you sense unhappy too. When someone is hurt, you want to make it all better. This is a very good thing! But sometimes, being too nice can be a bad thing for you.
Do you look at a phone or a computer? You might see little pictures with funny words on them. People call these romantic love memes.
These romantic love memes talk about love. They show a boy and a girl. The boy is very sad. The girl fixes all his problems. The picture says, “This is true love!” But guess what? These romantic love memes are telling a big lie.
The Fixer Trap
When you see someone sad, you want to fix it. You think, “I must help them! If I do not help, who will?” So, you try to fix their problem. You try to fix their mad feelings. You try to fix their sad feelings.
But while you are fixing them, you forget about you. You get very, very tired. You use up all your happy energy on them. This is not good. You are leaving yourself behind. You think you are being a good friend. But you are just getting tired.
A Story About a Tired Girl
Let me tell you a story about a girl named Lily. Lily was very nice. She met a boy. The boy was always sad. He lost his toy. He was mean to his friends. He would not clean his room.
Lily tried to fix him. She found his toy. She said sorry to him. She even cleaned his room! She looked at romantic love memes on her phone. She thought, “I am helping him. This is what good girls do.”
But the boy did not get better. He just let Lily do all the work. He never asked Lily how she felt. He never asked if she was tired. He just took her help. Lily was so tired she could not play anymore.
Real Love is Fair
It is good to help people. But helping must be fair. Think about a seesaw at the park. If you sit on one side, and no one sits on the other side, you are stuck on the ground. That is no fun. Love is like a seesaw. It must go up and down. It must be fair.
If you have a friend or a boyfriend, they must help you too. Do they ask if you are sad? Do they help you when you lose your toy? Do they care about your feelings?
If they only take your help and never give help, that is bad. They are using you. They are not loving you.
Take Care of You
Do not listen to the romantic love memes that say you must get tired to show love. That is silly. Real love does not make you feel bad. Real love does not make you tired all the time.
You have a big heart. But you must keep some of that heart for yourself. You are a big deal. Your feelings matter too. If someone will not help you, you must walk away. Be kind, but be smart. Take care of you first!
